Travel diaries: I am currently travelling to Amsterdam for a Global Entrepreneurs Conference. All stories are inspired by conversations with other entrepreneurs and adventures along the way.

Someone's First Choice

I want to be someone's first choice. But what happens when you are not?

In the movie with Kate Hudson "Something Borrowed" Ginnifer Goodwin's character has an affair with her best friend's (Kate Hudson's character Darcy) fiance.  Now this does not seem like your typical feel good scenario as it goes against the grain of what friendship and loyalty is all about, but it does make you question the whole concept of first choice. To be someone's first choice is a romantic notion and is not only my fairytale but the fairytale of millions of girls the world over.

In business, we all want to be someone's first choice. When you first lock eyes, that the connection you have with that person is so intense that it forms a lifelong relationship, right there and then. It's like love at first sight, but in a business sense.

But the question is, ' can you create that moment where you become someone's first choice'?

When you choose Burger King over McDonalds - can Burger King really do something about making their burgers your first choice? Or when a consultant walks into your office to sell you a service-can they be your first choice by changing the way they look, the tone of their voices, the style of their presentation or the warmth in their smile when they say goodbye? Presentation coaches would say that you can create a love at first sight scenario - but can you really?

I want to be someone's first choice, but is their first choice more than being just about me being me? That really is the question that every business person needs to answer.
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Mellissah Smith

Mellissah Smith is a marketing expert with more than 20 years experience. Having founded and built two successful marketing companies internationally, she is well recognized as a industry thought leader and innovator. Mellissah started her career working with technology and professional services firms, primarily in marketing, public relations and investor relations, positioning a number of successful companies to list on the various Stock Exchanges around the world. She is a writer, technology developer and entrepreneur who shares her thoughts and experiences through blogs and written articles published in various media outlets. Brag sheet: #2 marketer to follow on Twitter (2003), Top 150 Marketers to Follow (2015), Top 10 innovative marketers (2014), 60K+ followers on Twitter with 97% authentic.


  • Vib

    First the worst second the best or for that matter how does it matter if your'e first, second or last choice ?

    I think everything happens for a reason. If I got a job offering me millions should I take it or should I cry because I was second choice and only got it because their first choice changed their mind ? I'm pretty sure 9 out of 10 people would take the offer regardless.

    A person should be mentally strong and shouldn't care if they're told they weren't first choice. It doesn't matter to me, if I do my work well I'll eventually make them realise that I'm the right choice.

    I'm not that needy that I need to be first at everything, I cannot win at everthing in life. Failure is a stepping stone to success, a motivation to improve. When you get things the harder way you appreciate them more.

  • lana

    I agree in a business sense, more often than not people are making it all too easy to not be the favourable first choice. unfortunately its the most basic things and gestures which can let a business down the most.

  • Chitra Sharma
    Chitra Sharma

    This blog was very intriguing to me because in the some experience I've had in my life I've found that everyday we live our life is somewhat a business transaction, we interact with others each day trying to get some enjoyment out of it but at the end of the day everyone around us is a need, a means of getting from point A to B.

    In relation to the question about being someones first choice whether it be love or business, I think they are similar but also different, love isn't forced, its a feeling, while business requires the right steps, signs and feelings at the right time, for example while negotiating a business deal, a smile can go a long way, or walking in to an interview for a job with your shoulders broad and your chin high can get you the job even before you open your mouth. In business your look, personality and even your 'vibe' can make you go a long way and indeed be someones first choice.

  • Angelica Rodriguez
    Angelica Rodriguez

    It's always a challenge to move up in the ranks to become someone's first choice especially when you are competing with brands/organisations that have maintained their reputable position for quite some time. It's important to find a competitive advantage over these organisations to gain a larger market and gain brand loyalty - what do the customers want that no-one else is offering?

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