Today I read an article that Ashton Kutcher shared on Facebook "8 Fears and Insecurities Everyone Has"

What resonated with Ashton was:

No. 1 I'm not good enough
No. 2 My work isn't good enough
No. 6 I'm afraid of failing/disappointing
No. 7 If people knew the real me, they wouldn't like me

Interesting. It's got me thinking. What are my fears and insecurities?

We all have fears and insecurities - it's human nature after all. As a woman in her early 40's that is single with a fast growth business, I possibly have more fears than insecurities.

After a bit of soul searching, this is what I came up with:
9 Fears and Insecurities that I have : Mellissah Smith

  1. I can't control the growth of my business and while it's all organized and structured at this point in time, I worry that something will become unstuck. It's a fear that I have had for some time and I constantly get anxiety over the possibility that I will not be able to manage the growth.
  2. I am shy, and I mostly just want to lock myself in my office and work away. I worry that I do that too much and at some stage it will actually affect my business more than it does today.
  3. There is no purpose to my life. I can do as much charity work as I like, and build a business internationally - but for some reason I don't see this as purpose. Purpose to me is deeper, and I feel that I have lost my way a bit.
  4. I am not pretty enough. I have spent a lifetime banking on my brain, not my looks. But of late, I have been feeling a tad insecure that I don't have enough 'appeal'. My friend Samantha says that is just an 'age' thing - and I think she could be possibly right.
  5. The more successful you become, and the more you stand out from the crowd, the more knockers you will have. People love putting people down - it's an Australian pastime. When you are on the other side of the fence, it's hurtful.
  6. I fear that if I let people 'in' they will hurt me.
  7. Being born a perfectionist, I am afraid that I will never be perfect enough for myself. That I will never live up to my own expectations. I don't necessarily focus on what other people think, but more what I think.
  8. Growing old without finding that one person to grow old with. It is possibly my single biggest fear. While I never want to settle, I do what to find the love of my life, and share my journey with them. I have a fear that that will never happen.
  9. When my dog passes, I will be left alone.
Clearly these things are fears. There certainly is a lot to be thankful for but from time to time, I do think about these things. What is important is to ensure that we never dwell on our fears and insecurities and work out ways in which we can overcome them.

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Mellissah Smith

Mellissah Smith is a marketing expert with more than 20 years experience. Having founded and built two successful marketing companies internationally, she is well recognized as a industry thought leader and innovator. Mellissah started her career working with technology and professional services firms, primarily in marketing, public relations and investor relations, positioning a number of successful companies to list on the various Stock Exchanges around the world. She is a writer, technology developer and entrepreneur who shares her thoughts and experiences through blogs and written articles published in various media outlets. Brag sheet: #2 marketer to follow on Twitter (2003), Top 150 Marketers to Follow (2015), Top 10 innovative marketers (2014), 60K+ followers on Twitter with 97% authentic.


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  • Shawn

    I read your post and have to say that what goes on between our ears causes no end of trouble. The voices never really go away but in my experience, with age, comes a realization that those voices can be a help rather than a hindrance...and ultimately inspire us to stay on our game.

    As for a purpose...must there be one always? Sometimes we have them sometimes we don't. The poet Robert Haas once said "Some days its not so hard to say the quick pulse of blood through living flesh is all there is."

    As for beauty. Nothing is more attractive than a smart, seasoned, strong, vulnerable, and HOT human being. From what I have read and seen of you...I think you are a bit of alright alright alright!

  • Fabien

    I think that every fears we can have help you being a better person. I have a lot of fears too and I believe that they're in my mind to remind me that I care about things and I should give the better of myself to protect them and improve them.
    Well, Thank you one more time for your articles! I always enjoy reading them.


  • Jennyfer

    Everyone has fears and insecurities that they don't let anyone know about, but I guess without them we wouldn't push ourselves to overcome them and wouldn't be where we are today. I know if I just chose the easy path, I would have still been in France and would've never come to Australia, which, even with the different lifestyle to get used to, the pressure and competition at uni, the everyday fear of failing, is the best decision I have ever made. I sometimes think that I won't be able to make it further in my degree, but then I realize that it also is this fear that gives me the motivation to keep going and to not give up.

  • Melissa Chan
    Melissa Chan

    What you have said in this blog post really touched me. I possess some of the fears and insecurities you have, except for the first and the last because I grew up not being allowed to raise a dog. But i imagine if i had a dog, I'd feel the same way.

    The most relevant for me were 2 (I am shy), 3 (There is no purpose in life), 4 (I am not pretty enough), 6 (I fear that if I let people 'in' they will hurt me, 8 (growing old without finding that one person).

    2. I am Shy
    I have to admit, I wish i were more outgoing. I'm definitely the shy type - i find difficulty coming up with engaging conversation starters so I unfortunately end up being quiet all day. It's a lonely trait. I also see the detrimental effects of being a shy person, and its reassuring to hear that a very successful person like you Mellissah has social worries too. I had always thought that successful people were always proactive and that I would never become one. It's really a breath of fresh air! You always seem to be a social butterfly around the office!

    3. There is no purpose in life
    As an intern who is exploring a completely different world to her degree, this statement resonates with me very well. I'm graduating from university soon and have to choose what I want to do in life. For me, not knowing what your purpose in life is the scariest thing in the world.

    4. I'm not pretty enough
    Well, this speaks for itself.

    6. If i let people in, they will hurt me
    What I learned about this fear is that drinking DOES NOT help. I get very, very honest when I'm drunk and the morning after when the secrets are all out, I pretty much want to stay in bed and avoid life. So that's why i avoid drinking...

    8. Never finding that perosn
    I'm going to admit that I'm a hopeless romantic. What's worse than going embarassingly emotional at every romantic scene of every romantic comedy in public is the fear that I may never get that.This item speaks volumes to me and it means a lot to hear it outright (that other people have this fear and not just me). But I have no reservations that you will find that person some day! Just don't lose hope!

    Stay strong Mellissah! You're a rolemodel for youths out there who possess similar fears!

  • Nat

    I agree that "I'm not good enough" is on a lot of minds, including mine. But i also know that a few words of encouragement often quell those thoughts for a while. It's definitely worth complimenting your peers work every now and then, a little can go a long way. Speaking of which, thanks for the great read!

  • Ursula

    I often feel that my field of study is so competitive, and that there are so many others to 'outshine' me.
    How do I stand out physically, intellectually and creatively in order to succeed.
    But I've realised hard work pays off and often your best is good enough!

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