I am an unfortunate soul. I keep on becoming attracted to narcissists. If nothing changes, nothing changes. So, in lieu of that, I did some research on what I need to be looking out for. 

Everyone knows a narcissist or two or even three. They are everywhere.
Know a narcissist? Just check their manners - dead giveaway

But does anyone notice or have experience at just how poor mannered narcissists are?

Here are some things to look out for:
  • They don't say hello or acknowledge people when arriving
  • They don't take your coats when you come to their homes
  • They don't even offer you a drink on arrival - it really doesn't cross their mind
  • They never say sorry or thank you
  • They never say please
  • They never say how nice it is to see you when you leave.
For most of us, its just good basic manners. It's what we have all been brought up with. 

To go a step further to understanding a narcissist.... if they hit a dog in their car, and presume it is dead, they don't stop, they just keep driving.

When a narcissist asks a person "what's wrong', they are setting the person up so they can whack them with some kind of verbal domination display that makes them feel powerful.

They are definitely into "ghosting" and won't return their calls. They cannot be bothered. You don't see it their way, so you are not worth the call back. In fact, they will never explain anything to you - why should they - they are a narcissist and only care for themselves.

The Jekyll-Hyde behavior of a narcissist always causes confusion, but once you work it out - you can control the situation much better.

People with a narcissist personality believe that they're superior to others and have little regard for other people's feelings. But behind the mask of ultra-confidence lies a fragile self-esteem, vulnerability to the slightest criticism.

Narcissist leaders are driven by unyielding arrogance, self-absorption and a personal egotistical need for power and admiration.

Narcissists typically have many qualities we associate with those of a strong leader. They have high self-esteem, confidence, and display authority.

Their "ghosting" is just another sign of their bad manners, mostly not just brought on by them, but of bad parenting. Their parents encouraged the narcissist behavior and therefore they found it acceptable to continue with it, along with their unfortunate bad manners.

"Half the harm that is done in this world is due to people who want to feel important. They don't mean to do harm, but the harm (that they cause) does not interest them. Or they do not see it, or they justify it because they are absorbed in the endless struggle to think well of themselves." T.S. Eliott.

Narcissists are soul destroying. While in one way they are charismatic and they can draw you in, in another, they can destroy you.
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Mellissah Smith

Mellissah Smith is a marketing expert with more than 20 years experience. Having founded and built two successful marketing companies internationally, she is well recognized as a industry thought leader and innovator. Mellissah started her career working with technology and professional services firms, primarily in marketing, public relations and investor relations, positioning a number of successful companies to list on the various Stock Exchanges around the world. She is a writer, technology developer and entrepreneur who shares her thoughts and experiences through blogs and written articles published in various media outlets. Brag sheet: #2 marketer to follow on Twitter (2003), Top 150 Marketers to Follow (2015), Top 10 innovative marketers (2014), 60K+ followers on Twitter with 97% authentic.

1 comment

  • Christina
    Christina
    31/08/15

    I had to be pay very close attention to the qualities of a narcissist in hopes that I didn't match too many. Turns out I might have a mild case of narcissism but I'm sure I can manage around it. I think it would be quite miserable to have a narcissistic boss, because then you can never have any input, and its hard to back someone you don't really believe in (or like very much). People who are all about themselves, arrogance and ignorant makes a very poor formula for an acquaintance in the business world or personal, for that matter. But someone who cares about themselves that much, surely worries about themselves tonnes more, worrying about how they look, how they walk and how they sound because we all know behind all that bravado is the insecurities that hides between the crack of their cockiness. I just hope I don't encounter too many of them in my lifetime.

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